I cannot reach a pen for me to draw the line.

I am a menace and should be stopped.
Overly dramatic I know hehe but I need to learn how to control myself!  That or stop getting myself into potentially compromising situations.  Sophie came to mine Friday afternoon and we watched But I'm a Cheerleader; one of my favourite "special interest" films ever!  After that we met Becky, Andy and Bert [teehee a guy our age is actually called Bert!] and we walked to Dukes.  It was a good evening, starting with me kicking Sopie's arse at pool!  I rule *spoken like The Spacey*  I did have a lil too much to drink.  Haley, Nikki and Alice popped in briefly it was so great to see them.  They thought I was having a mid-life crisis 'cause everyone I was with was in the year below haha Hannah and Bec swung by for a drinky too as Hot Fuzz was entirely full, even the Deluxe screens!  Eventually I was left with the minors by myself hehe I'm not sure why I carried on drinking, Batman only knows!  I escorted Sophie to the toilet ['cause she's afraid that she'll get locked in heh] for the second time that evening, so I believed it to be a purely platonic venture!  Until she came out of the toilets and we erm had a hug, a long hug.  When we pulled out of the hug we did the kiss-lean in thing but I stopped!  I had to stop it otherwise everything that we settled would just be a complicated mess in the morning [and this is what I told her, yup that I did!]  It went back and forth for what seemed like ages - "It will complicate everything" "No it won't"... - until that part of me took over; that eediot part of me that hears the word SELF CONTROL and says 'Self-what?  What on earth is that?  Where's the woman?'  So it goes without saying that we ended up kissing.  It was so much more intense than at Clare's party.  Which is weird considering how utterly out of the blue it was then.  Her kiss was..sobering.  I stopped feeling tipsy in an instant.  This is really screwing me up; I keep on thinking that I don't want things to change, but then I can't seem to understand how much I really want her.  I was just buried in her kiss and everything was so intense, heh especially after I'd pushed her towards the wall *rolls eyes* I was mere seconds away from kissing her neck, that would've been the complete loss of control scenario!  But I stopped!  Then talking and confused rambling to each other followed.  I tried to explain how I felt about how she should be able to have all of me and "not me half pissed outside the toilets, again" [<nice direct quote there heh] I think she took it the wrong way.  I meant that she deserves me to be wanting her full stop, with no doubts or complications, but I think she thought that I meant something to do with being pissed and being intimate.  Anyway, we were interrupted by Becky 'cause we had to wait outside for the taxi [Sophie was to stay at mine that night too!  Awkward?!] the taxi driver was weird and scary so that broke any tension between us, 'cause it was friggin' funny!  I thought both my parents were home and asleep so I didn't bother with the usual "Hi, I'm home and not drunk!" routine.  I looked for the sleeping bag but couldnt find it.  Sophie didn't see a problem with sleeping in the same single bed...course not!  But pfft I didn't care, I was sleepy drunk now and needed to sleep!  I changed into some PJ type clothes and climbed into my bed next to her.  It wasn't awkward or odd, it was nice.  Nice until I heard my Mum get home!  I got out of bed and long story short I slept in the spare room.  Mum was only weird that night, she hasn't probed me with stupid 'phobic questions today or anything so all is good.  But before I grabbed a pillow from my bed to take into the spare room with me, I had a hushed conversation with Sophie.  I was telling her my mum was weird hehe she said her mum would be the same.  I went to get up from the bed whe nshe held my arm meaningfully.  There was a half-lean hehe which stopped.  We hugged and then she still was looking meaningfully at me, so I kissed her on the cheek and whispered stuff about complications again.  I got up and said "fuck" hushed but audibly hehe.  There was some inter-room texting but yeah, stuff's the same now.
CONFUSED.com am I!